Milestones! And a Brief(ish) Response to a Yahoo Dating Article

First milestones. Over the last couple days my ramblingsofacinephile hit over 1000 views (1034 as of this writing) and I'm kinda excited. or really excited. Probably that second one. And what means even more to me is that since June 27 there has not been a SINGLE day that this blog has gone without a view. That's amazing to me. Anyway thank you guys so much for all your views and for reading these things. I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I do writing them.
Also I have several side projects I've started working on so the amount of times I ramble on this site will drop, but fear not, I am still posting here, just less often. I will also be announcing those projects here when it gets a little closer to their release.
And now for the rebuttal.
A couple weeks ago I saw this article about what guys find unattractive in women on yahoo. Now I always find these kinds of things funny because they assume that all guys are the same. And as a result we all want the same thing in a girl. Which of course means all girls should act the same way. And since that is ridiculous, I thought I'd point out which of these seven points I agree with and which one's I think are just utterly idiotic. (Also I'm adding pictures of each thing so as to help illustrate each point).

1. Being too drunk

Ok this one is definitely true. Good start yahoo. Yep girls who get disgustingly drunk, you know, throwing up all over the place and stumbling over their words while trying to tell their friends that they used to be the wild ones are...well disgusting. However, I'd like to point out yahoo, that this is universally true for all sexes (and probably species). I submit into evidence Exhibit A:

Case and point.

2. Talking about bodily functions:

I realize that picture has nothing to do with women talking about their bodily functions, but it's funny, I like Harry Potter, and I'm writing this post so pipe down. Anyway, the article claims that guys as a collective don't like for women to talk about their periods, about which he'll get little argument from me. Periods are gross. However, he also goes on to say that if women mention they have to poo or "tinkle" as the professional writer calls it, then that too makes our sex organs crawl into our body. Now as for me, while I don't think it is necessarily attractive, guys talk about poo and pee as well and so we are perfectly capable of understanding that women may also talk about that. I don't expect women to never poo. If a woman never poos I'd be concerned as to the horribly painful constipation she must be having. Knowing women have bodily functions is not unattractive. If a guy doesn't go running for the hills after one of you girls says "I need to poo," it doesn't mean he's weird. It means he's an adult.

3. Excessive Body Hair

Ok so I imagine this one is a personal preference and it's time for me admit something. Not a wookiee fetish - although if that's your thing watch Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus - but that guys (at least I as a guy) am attracted to certain physical qualities of women, such as fitness level, breast size, hair color, eye color, face shape, smell, etc as well as personality, intelligence, and confidence. Just like no matter how many articles tell you girls like guys based on their personality, Channing Tatum will always be considered more attractive than John Goodman. So anyway in conclusion, I don't like lots of body hair, but I'm sure there are guys out there who do.

4. Too Much Makeup

This one I agree with. Ok girls. I like you when you look like you. If you want to put on makeup to make yourself happy, then go for it. But I, like Colin, prefer it when a woman just lets me see what her face looks like. When a women is herself, both physically and personalitally (which I understand is not a word but for the purposes of symmetry I used anyway), she is far more attractive than if she makes herself look like she is always blushing. Cause that's weird. But again this comes down to personal preference. Some guys like makeup. Some guys don't.

5. Belittling Us

Don't make us feel like Bryan Cranston

This is another one I agree with, but I think limiting it to women is extremely sexist.  We, as humans, don't like to be told we're less than. That's why if you go to any facebook profile and correct one of the million people who type 'there' instead of 'they're' you will get lynched by ten or twenty people. People prefer to be built up, told that they are doing well and maybe being told the ways they can improve themselves. So the same goes for men, it sucks when someone belittles someone else. Don't do it. Make other people feel awesome.

Unless you're making us feel like this Bryan Crantson:
bad ass even when not wearing pants

6. Swearing

1:17 seconds into that trailer is the scene where Justin Timberlake tells Mila Kunis she is uncomfortable with swearing and she proceeds to try to prove him wrong. It's adorable. There is nothing wrong with swearing. Swears are words. Just more powerful words. And girls, any guy who doesn't want you to swear, but swears himself, probably doesn't like you swearing because he feels that is a sort of verbal area women should not be allowed to access. Which is sexist. Swearing can be attractive and it can be unattractive depending how it is used. I personally find it to be attractive because it means the woman is comfortable enough with being herself to show me that side of her. It's the same thing with bodily functions. Women, like men, are people. And as a result I find it more attractive when that is the way you act. Like you.

7. Nagging

I also agree with this point, but just as is the case with belittling us, nagging is universally annoying, not just to men. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a person in possession of a task to do will become bitter if reminded to do it over and over and over again. Here's why it's annoying. See that picture up there? The way that guys is just looking off into the distance probably thinking about whether he wants KFC or Popeye's for dinner (he wants Popeye's, who wouldn't?)? He is not even listening to her, because he has already logged away the task she's nagging him about as something that must be done. Thus, constantly reminding him of it will drive him crazy. But this is true for everyone. Any person who is the target of nagging will not appreciate said nagging. So in conclusion, don't nag, gently remind once or twice. We'll get to it eventually.

Conclusion Part 1

Women, men are not all the same. I find different things attractive and unattractive in women than the writer of this article. As a result, there is no single archetypal woman that all men think is amazing and thus a single archetypal way to behave in order to attract a man. We're all different, so we like different things. So if you want to attract a specific man, find what he thinks is attractive.

Conclusion Part 2

Don't do that. Don't mold yourself into what you think a guy wants you to be. Chances are we'll find you far more attractive if you just be yourself anyway. And even if that guy you like doesn't find you attractive because of your swearing or your body hair (within reason I mean hygiene is important), then his loss. Move on. Eventually you'll find someone who does. Behave the way you want to behave and eventually you'll find someone who likes you for that exact reason. Unless you want to be an axe-murderer. Don't do that.

So do you agree? Disagree? Have more stuff you want to add? Just ate a delicious sandwich and want to share the recipe? Please say so in the comments.