WOLDBP Post 2 - Spider Charles Jock and Flex Seal

For post two of the Week-of-Legitimate-Daily-Blog-Posts, or WOLDBP for short (I know, catchy initialism isn’t it?), I figured I would give you readers insight into the way my mind works through a writing exercise. Previous to writing this post I was working on the introduction to an essay for my Drama class. This following is a stream of consciousness representative of the things I thought about while writing (please note that not one of my thoughts are about the paper, a sign summer break has truly started even though I’m not quite done with school).

     Oh hey, check it out. There’s a spider on my ceiling. Walking directly towards me. Crap that thing is gonna jump on my head. Oh hey wait - it’s turning. To the left, it’s still turning to the left. It’s kinda constantly turning left. And the fan is turning with it. Well it’s probably not turning with it, but you know…self. Awkwardly talking to myself in my brain. Still doing it – stop it. So wait, why is the spider turning with the fan? It’s probably because the spinning shadows are confusing the spider’s sense of direction, making it think that it has to move in a circle matching the circular pattern of the shadows.

     Well that’s boring. Maybe it’s because the spider is a humanitarian. Wait spiders can’t be humanitarians cause they’re not human. A spidertarian? No, an arachnitarian. He’s very concerned with problems in spider society. He’s probably doing an AIDSwalk. He’s doing laps in order to raise money to prevent the spread of spider AIDS. He’s like a little humanitarian spider Charles Jock. Well that’s not fair to Charles Jock, he could be a humanitarian; I didn’t ask him. I guess he could be some sort of disguised spider, but that seems unlikely, though he did have really long legs. But anyway yeah, that’s better than the sciency one.

     Jeez, I hate when memes get used in like real life. Memes are an internet thing and they should stay there. Stupid comedy central using the Fry thing to advertise for Futurama. Why do I care so much? I feel like it takes away from the internet community. It detracts from the –

     OH SHIT! The spider is gone. Spider Charles Jock is no longer on the ceiling. GAAAHHGHH! What was that tickling my leg? Oh my gosh it’s all up in my pants. I should take them off so I can get SCJ off of me. It’s probably not poisonous but I don’t wanna deal with the big bump that comes with that thing chewing on my leg. Oh hey it’s gone. I really need to start working on a blog post for today.

     I don’t even know what this commercial is for. What’s a flex seal? Is that like a gymnastics seal - a seal with amazing reflexive powers? He can twist and dodge away from all the evil seal clubbers. And at night he dons a mask and uses his amazing abilities to protect baby seals everywhere from the constant threat of seal clubbers.

Not this kind of Seal Clubbing

This kind of Seal Clubbing

      That’d be a good thing to post about. Maybe I’ll write my post about the adventures of Flex Seal. Or maybe just the random shit I think about. Yeah, that last one. It sounds like it’d take less effort. I’m tired.

[RXYUPQY3BUFB] Please ignore the code inside the brackets. It’s a publicity thing. It’s not important. In fact it isn’t real. It’s all a dream.